[a great man]

"Tatay", or my grandfather (on the father's side), has been in a coma since Wednesday. If it stays like this too long well... you know what happens next. I have to go to Isabela as soon as possible. Probably on the weekend or after finals.

Strange, I don't really feel all that.. affected. And it makes me feel guilty.

We were never really that close, maybe that's why. I was never really "close" to my relatives on the father side. I can't even remember the last time I went to Isabela. Either I'm too busy or I just don't feel like coming along (tska tutal ako naman yung palagi nakakalimutan dun e. like I'm I'm the 'lost child'or something.). But don't get me wrong, I don't have a grudge against them or anything. It's just that they've never had much of an impact on my life. Malamang ganun din ako sa kanila.

Pero astig na lolo si Tatay. I always had great time feeding the pigs and chickens with him. He made working with pigs and chickens (and tilapia) look fun. He exuded this personality that made you think that everyone in the town liked him. As far as I can tell, everyone did seem to like him. He also seemed like a very righteous man. As far as I know, he never cheated on my grandmother, never committed a crime or anything like that, and he had no vices. My grandfather wasn't a particularly scholarly man but he was a humble man who never wanted more than what he had (he was poor while all his other siblings were way richer than he was - something i remember reading from a family history paper by my older sister). To me, he seemed like a man who was content with his life. The kind of guy who never failed to look at the bright side of things. Tatay joked a lot and although his jokes weren't always funny, they always served to lighten up the mood (when everyone just looks so moody. or depressed. or bored). ..He was an overall cool guy.

I guess I'm supposed to be writing a eulogy or a testimony to the life of a great man or something like that. But I can't. I don't know anything about him. Nothing I say will be enough. Sa totoo nga mababaw lang lahat ng nasabi ko tungkol sa kanya dito. ..I can't even remember his real name. Tatay deserves more.

He's somewhere between the realm of the living and the dead now. But wherever he is and whichever side he'll end up going to.. and no matter what happens, I hope he's happy. And smiling. And joking in the end.

[Just a minor edit: see my sister's article about Tatay here ]